Humility

Ever tasted humble pie? It has a bitter taste to it. Ever opened your mouth and spoken EXACTLY what is on your mind? It is usually a bad idea. There is a prayer I pray OFTEN... "Lord, put a watchman at the gate of my mouth." It is a good thing to pray. When words fly out of your mouth before you think about their consequences, you CAN'T get them back. They fly forth and do their damage, and the dastardly deed is done. I have a really bad habit of doing this, and it seems that the prayer isn't working. Perhaps I am not praying it sincerely. Perhaps, if I prayed, "Lord, please help me to learn how to think before I speak," then with practice I can avoid the large helpings of humble pie that I seem to be eating fairly regularly. Only problem is, I am terrified at the prospect of all the situations I will face when God actually PROVIDES those learning scenarios. I am capable of doing a lot of damage. Tonight, I did some damage in the husband arena. I was out of line. He embarrassed me. I returned the favor. The worst part of this is that the message my pastor had JUST BARELY FINISHED PREACHING ended with, "What makes women beautiful? A meek and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."

Well, guess I blew that one. I obviously need help in the "meek and quiet spirit" department. I apologized (although I am not thoroughly convinced he believed me), but my spirit is still troubled. I asked the Lord for help. I repented. Why do I still feel so awful? I am still upset because he embarrassed me. But I need to be the one to LET GO. Lord, help me to let go. The Word of God requires me to let go. "Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Lord, I am tired of my humble pie diet. I forgive my husband... he forgave me, and so did you. What right do I have to hold my grudge? Thank you for your unconditional love for me.

Michelle